M.S.

I realized how much intense stimulation I had been exposing myself to without even noticing. No wonder I hadn’t been able to hear the small, quiet voice within me.

Reflections and Realizations from the Temple Stay

I joined the temple stay out of mere curiosity and a lighthearted interest. For the first few days—up to about the third day—I was filled with regret, inner conflict, and resistance. However, deep down, I had a sincere desire to learn how to live more wisely and to cultivate good habits. Gradually, the advice and guidance I received from the monks began to sink in.

I realized anew that if I couldn’t even manage my posture or breathing properly, there was no way I could lead a skillful life. By the final moments of the stay, tears were streaming down my face.

The incense offering was a symbolic act to burn away my past anger, desires, and attachments. There’s a scene in the historical drama Hikaru Kimi e where Fujiwara no Michinaga takes tonsure and becomes a monk. I never quite understood why his family wept during that scene—until now. The bittersweet sorrow of letting go of your past self, the emptiness of wondering why you were so attached to such things, and the joy of finally being able to let them go… It must have been such a mix of emotions. At the very least, that was exactly how I felt.

Changes I Noticed

What surprised me first was the nausea I felt the moment I stepped into a convenience store on the way back from the temple. Coffee, which I used to love, felt overwhelmingly stimulating—I could only finish half a cup. When I tried to open a mobile game on my phone, I felt dizzy and had to close it immediately.

I realized how much intense stimulation I had been exposing myself to without even noticing. No wonder I hadn’t been able to hear the small, quiet voice within me.

Life Moving Forward

To carry the habits I developed during the temple stay into my daily life, I hope to maintain good posture, mindful movements, and respectful responses. To support this, I plan to continue practicing sutra chanting and zazen meditation.

This experience has been truly invaluable. I am deeply grateful to Daigu Oshō and all the monks who guided us.

Once again, thank you very much.