H.H.

I realized how little I had been using my own voice, physical strength, and memory in daily life.

I decided to apply for a temple stay because I was struggling with a constant, nagging feeling. I couldn’t trust in my own words or abilities, didn’t know what I had to offer others, and had lost the joy of earning money and building a richer life. In October of this year, after deciding to leave the company I had worked at for eight years, I signed up for the temple stay without even having another job lined up.

During the six days and five nights of training, I realized how little I had been using my own voice, physical strength, and memory in daily life. I had been relying too much on my head, storing everything in my smartphone, and barely tapping into the abilities of my own body. At first, I even felt embarrassed to raise my voice, and no matter how much I tried, I held back.

Since internet searches weren’t allowed during the retreat, I couldn’t look things up, even if I didn’t know or understand something. But over time, through observing my surroundings and repeating the same routines each day, answers started to naturally come to me. These moments of discovery felt truly fascinating.

There was also a rule to “refrain from idle talk,” which, although I didn’t follow perfectly, turned out to be something deeply beneficial for me. By not asking unnecessary questions or speaking without purpose, I was able to notice the emotions arising within me and face my inner self more honestly. On the other hand, in moments when we needed to cooperate, I found that chanting sutras every morning had made my voice clearer and more resonant, which helped facilitate smooth communication.

Some of the rules during training felt inconvenient or made me wonder “why?”—but by simply following them with an open heart, I discovered many unexpectedly meaningful experiences. I was deeply grateful to the monks for their sincere and thoughtful guidance whenever I strayed from the path.

It was also a joy to experience how, as we chanted sutras together each morning and evening, our voices gradually became one—growing together like a living being. There were many things we could not accomplish alone, but could achieve through mutual cooperation. Feeling that “I couldn’t have done this alone, but with others, I could” was a powerful and beautiful experience.

Every day brought countless insights and lessons, but one phrase from the sutras especially stays with me:

“Do not measure the merit by its quantity, nor judge the person by their origin.”

I want to be someone who never forgets to imagine and feel gratitude for the many people involved in bringing the food, clothing, buildings, facilities, and all the things around me into my life. And when I find myself comparing myself to others—feeling superior or inferior—I hope to gently bring my awareness back inward and focus on my own actions instead.