C.T.

I was made painfully aware of how little care and attention I had been giving to people and things in my daily life.

I wanted to go. It had to be now.

Driven by this feeling, I gathered my courage and applied.

Until now, I had avoided communities as much as possible, weary of the complications that come with human relationships. People can hurt you, and people can save you. In the end, neither solitude nor belonging is entirely within our control. The mental habits I had developed over the years left me struggling with both emotional and physical distress.

During the temple stay, I was surrounded by compassionate human connections and a wholesome environment. Even as I gasped for breath under the rigor of the training, I approached it with a sincere desire to search for something deeper.

I was made painfully aware of how little care and attention I had been giving to people and things in my daily life. I had built a wall of ego right in front of me as a form of self-defense—constantly comparing myself to others, unconsciously ranking people into hierarchies of superiority and inferiority, shifting between arrogance and self-deprecation.

Seeing through such shallow pretenses, the young disciples corrected my improper conduct and words, offering countless insights. They constantly pulled my wandering consciousness back to the ”here and now” whenever my mind floated elsewhere.

When you become fully aware of the fleeting nature of each moment, everything flows naturally, connecting seamlessly.

I felt an increasing sense of connection between myself, others, and my surroundings—a harmony beyond the interference of trivial egos. There’s no point in wasting time on such things. Rather than overthinking, I found that moving my body brought understanding in its own time.

Instead of reacting impulsively with raw emotions from the unconscious mind, I learned to cultivate modesty, compassion, wisdom, and the Buddha-nature within me.

After leaving the temple, I found myself back in the chaos of daily life. Without self-discipline, I feared I would succumb to laziness and bad habits. To prevent myself from losing my way, I felt a strong need to continue studying the teachings of Busshin-shu.

The structure of the temple stay was astonishing—it was designed so that the good karma of every person, every living being, and every soul within the temple could circulate and sustain itself.

The unfamiliar task of scrubbing floors and tatami mats was a battle against my muscles, but I found joy in improving day by day. Cleaning the temple’s Tōsu (restrooms) made me reflect on my consideration for others, while weeding made me think about the cycle of life.

Picking up litter felt as if I was gathering up the sins and wrongdoings—both my own and those of others—that had been scattered throughout life. And in doing so, my heart gradually settled into peace.

There was a shared sense of accomplishment in the teamwork involved in construction work, spreading gravel to build roads, and preparing for the Akiba Grand Festival.

I also enjoyed working in the Tenzo (kitchen). The temple’s shōjin ryōri (Buddhist  cuisine) was not only delicious but also incredibly nourishing, and I would love to learn the recipes.

The experience that resonated most directly with my body and soul was morning prayers.

Inside the main hall, the voices and instruments layered upon one another, expanding and spreading outward. The interplay of stillness and movement created a sacred yet cosmic sense of unity—it felt like witnessing a profound live performance.

During the temple stay, my smartphone-addicted senses were reawakened, offering me countless moments of awareness.

The diverse plant life, sky, earth, water, light, and animals within Fukugonji’s lush environment… Had I been mindlessly glued to my phone, I would never have experienced such heightened sensitivity.

In an era where compliance and individual protection are prioritized to an extreme, I felt a greater need for compassionate yet strict guidance and words of love. I want to use the teachings of Buddha as my compass and live in accordance with virtue and righteousness.

Thank you for this truly wonderful experience.

With gratitude.