A.K.

The most important challenges I've been avoiding, despite everything, that I need to face.

First of all, I am truly grateful for the opportunity to participate in the temple stay program, and I am so glad I gathered the courage to join. I received an abundance of realizations that far exceeded my expectations.

In my overly busy daily life, I had unknowingly accumulated various misconceptions in complex forms. These all appeared one after another before me in the simple, Zen-inspired communal life, which came with moderate pressure. They were the very challenges I had been avoiding to face all along.

Surrounded by the silent night, beautiful dawn, the scent of trees, the sound of goats, and the innocent songs of children from the kindergarten, I was able to genuinely accept and face these realizations.

For instance, rushing. Until now, I believed that doing everything slowly allowed me to enjoy it carefully and experience gratitude for each small thing. However, during the temple stay, while moving at twice the usual pace, I realized I was always in the present moment. I had no time or room to think about anything other than the task at hand, and I simply existed as an empty, present self. And it was a wonderful sense of fulfillment.

By hurrying, it felt like I gained more time, and the extra time brought peace to my heart, allowing me to naturally express more delicate care for others. The laziness I had been hiding under a veil for years was swept away as I moved forward with my fellow participants.

I also learned deeply from the sutra chanting. Not only the content of what was written but also the act of blending my voice with the voices of others, resonating together and feeling the vibration of the space, was an extremely profound experience for me. In this, I felt a powerful, intense sensation where both my weaknesses (Yin) and strengths (Yang) surfaced simultaneously. I was reminded by one of the inner disciples that “relaxation is important,” but I was drenched in sweat every time.

There were seven participants, including myself, and in just five days and six nights, we were able to glimpse each other’s flaws and strengths. We acted as mirrors to one another, and this reflection became both a comfort and encouragement. The connection we formed felt invaluable, almost like comrades.

Through daily dedication to pure training, I was able to experience the presence of three inner disciples who embodied the calm and composure cultivated through this practice. Their guidance and attention to detail helped me understand what the ego truly is, and the habitual excuses I used to make for myself were shattered without exception. On the final day, I felt a bittersweet sadness as this period came to an end, but I also felt a clear sense of motivation for how to carry this forward.

Though this message has become long, moving forward, I will continue with early rising, sutra chanting, cleaning, meal rituals, and exercise in a way that suits my lifestyle. Especially with cleaning, I believe it’s important not to forget the fast rhythm I have learned.

By continuing these four practices, I feel that all obstructions will dissolve, and things will flow naturally. Also, I will keep an eye on my ego, let go of unnecessary assertions, and always remember that I am a single leaf, but that leaf is part of the entire tree, and the tree is part of the whole mountain—everything is interconnected.

I plan to apply for the precepts ceremony with a calm resolution.

Thank you truly for everything.