N.N.

Each and every one of them is my treasure.

Thank you very much for welcoming me into the life of Fukugonji.
I have written mainly about what I could not think and talk about at the time of the night review, and what I felt after descending the mountain.

From the first day to the third day, I was puzzled and wondered, “What will change by doing this?” I was so tired that I felt angry and dissatisfied during the evening zazen sessions.
In hindsight, I think I was not honest enough. I was not ready to follow the Buddha’s teachings, and I did not trust the Buddha’s teachings from the bottom of my heart, so I did not accept the teachings as they were and did not immediately accept them, but first compared them to my own values.

However, on the fourth day, I realised that if I continued in this way, I would eventually only accept what was good for me and would not be able to grow.
On the fifth and final day, I became absorbed like a child, did the work I was given to the best of my ability and felt refreshed.
I have learnt the basics of the “attitude of asking for teachings”, so from now on, I will watch the YouTube videos of Osho Taigu again and try to practice the teachings that I felt resistance to, as I think they are the teachings that I should practise now, and try to do them enthusiastically.

Also, although it has only been a short time since I descended from the mountain, I feel that my daily life has changed. I feel gratitude more often. I have spent time filled with warmth and care, and being surrounded by good friends, I think that the corners of my heart have been removed and my mind has become rounder. Not only the disciples of course, but also my fellow Zen practitioners and all the people involved in Fukugonji Temple were warm and welcoming, and even a vendor (probably a rice dealer) who was driving around the grounds in his truck gave me a very friendly greeting. Temples are wonderful. I am reminded of the great temple power.

Furthermore, I have started to express my gratitude not only in my thoughts but also in my words. On the way home today, there was a person cleaning the restroom at the train station. I used to pass by the restroom with a somewhat awkward feeling, but today I felt grateful and thanked him easily and left the restroom.

At Temple Stay, polite greetings and thanks were commonplace. Whether you are running or working, once you stop everything, take off your hat, join hands, pray, smile and look at the other person. During the stay, I did not think about it and just imitated everyone else, but looking back now, I feel that I was in a very valuable environment.

I have felt so many things and received so much help that I cannot write it all down. Every single piece of advice you have given me is my treasure. I will devote myself to becoming more flexible in mind and body!

I will be returning to a more relaxed environment, living alone again, so I would be happy if you could add me to your sangha again, at different times of the year and in different seasons.
Thank you very much.